politicette | I'm so *~*secular, you guys

I'm so ~secular, you guys

This may be the post that makes you embarrassed to know me. :(

As it's become apparent to many of you already, I am such an unabashed theological geek. We're talking a straight-up nerd-glassed phlegmy-voiced pocket-protector-wearing motherfucker, here. * It's more commonly understood, however, that I am also a bra-burning baby-hating anti-American fetus-eating hairy-legged man-loathing commie pinko secular dyke fag.**

I'm sure you can all imagine wherein the disconnect often occurs.

Hence my mad, mad love of the free-form stylings of one Slactivist. He's fantastic, mostly because he focuses on actual Biblical teachings as opposed to ruminating endlessly on artificially-constructed, time-respected dogma. In fact, he often devotes space for the pure purpose of deconstructing that dogma, and boy. Do I love me some deconstructed dogma.

And his thinkings on eschatology? Amazing.

He's also very, very funny.

So, obviously I could say a lot about them, but this post was inspired by this beautiful, beautiful quote (in the context of his routine dissection of how much the Left Behind books suck) that I believe better explains the connection between salvation and storytelling, and why, in my mind, writing and creation of all kinds are such spiritual endeavors than anything I've ever clumsily articulated:

It's not about finding the special power that can defeat the archvillain's powers, but about a deeper, older kind of conflict. It's not about Bad Power vs. Good Power, but power vs. love. You recognize this story. This villain can't be defeated by silver bullets or wooden stakes or photon torpedos or a magic ring. We don't need a super hero, we need a lamb. The ring must be destroyed. Worthy is the lamb, worthy is the lamb that was slain.

That's the story. That's always the story, really.

He's so right and I'm going to stop myself before I go on a tangent about the nature and underlying significance of human creation, artistry, and expression. Because I, being a huge theological geek, could write pages.

It strikes me, also, that I just realized why Harry's resurrection at the end of Deathly Hallows was so unsatisfying to me LOL I AM A CRAZY PERSON.

*Also stopping myself from going off about the ways in which theological study and science are essentially the same endeavor because golly gee would that never end.

**A truth mileage may vary.

EDIT: LOL YOU GUYS SO THERE IS FIC! HAPPENING IN THE COMMENTS! IT'S FANTASTIC! IF YOU ARE HERE FOR THE SANDBOX CHALLENGE HAPPENING AT FN_FF, I SAY HELLO! BUT FIRST HAVE THIS DISCLAIMER:

---

DISCLAIMER: The fic is a lie and I am a liar for saying it, even though I'm not claiming it as truth so technically it's more like fiction, but still equally un-factual and untrue.

Also, it may be triggery due to some of the featured gay-bashing and parental abuse.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ALSO I WARNED THEM SUFFICIENTLY, RIGHT? I DID, RIGHT?

Well I think you did. Then again - I know you well enough to know you weren't joking about geeking out.

But yeah, you did say it enough.

Why do you ask?

Because I need reassurance that I didn't just spring all that upon them like a crazyhead to assauge my guilt.

Because they were all like "LOL she's going to write about God smoking weed" when, no. No, she's really not.

I suppose only time will tell? I mean - I hardly imagine anyone's going to be offended, or whathaveyou.

It might be a surprise but then they'll look back and go 'oh, yeah, she totally warned me that was going to happen' and it won't be a big deal or whatever.

You're okay, darlin'! Everything will be awesome!

I still feel the need to commit commentfic to atone.

...It would probably be more about Teenage Jon and Stephen losing their virginity to Jon's The Essential Bruce Springsteen album thudding vaguely through his shitty car stereo, so IDK.

First: do want that comment fic.

Second: surely pre-emptive atoning would imply you've done something wrong? 'Cos I don't think you have. 'Sides - FN_FF can totally have intelligent serious discussion sometimes.

I MIGHT DO IT IDK

I'm going to be a creeper and jump right in here to say that I love that fic idea.

BB A COMMENT FROM YOU IS NEVER CREEPY <333333333

I already wrote some of it but IDK, IDK.

AWW. <333

Well, you've got already got the ball rolling ... it would be a shame to stop now.

(CLEARLY, YOU SHOULD POST IT. CLEARLY. I'LL SHUT UP NOW.)

I ALREADY DID BUT IT WAS LIKE IMMERSED IN COMMENT FIC IDK ;__________;

Link?

IT WAS ME GUERRILLA FIXING THIS FIC BY

themistoklis.

You realize that I am like, obligated to hijack this thread and encourage you to expand that scene, right?

YES LET'S GO

ALRIGHT THEN

Well you already have this. So I guess you could either jump to the beginning of the night or continue on from there. Was Jon all nervous, sneaking alcohol out of the house? Did Stephen have to lie to his parents to get out? Does another car pass by in the middle of it all and nearly scare them off? Hmmm?

No, but as soon as "Born in The USA" started playing, Stephen came. Jon was uncertain as to whether this was a coincidence, and even if it weren't he had no intentions of telling the poor boy that it is not actually a patriotic song.

Oh man. In my head they are parked in the parking lot of the neighborhood playground at which they had so many good times as youngsters, and Stephen is a little afraid that the stoners who hang out there during off-season will show up. He doesn't know them very well, but man are they scary (and he remembers some of them as the big boys from the day he met Jon).

Jon tries to tell him that naw, one of those guys is his guy, and he's really cool. But then again, his guy doesn't know about them, because no-one does.

Stephen's parents think that he's at Wednesday night Youth Group, and they commend him for trying to evangelize that heathen Jew he's always hanging around.

Lolol Oh, Stephen.

Oh man being in the parking lot of the playground -- that would be so epic and sweet (and one of them being one of the big boys? my heart, it aches). Maybe they play out there for a bit before getting cold and wandering back to the car, idk.

Jon, Jon, I worry about the people you hang around with sometimes.

...Wow. While that would be a good excuse, wow.

He was just grateful for the assistance, really. He was, uh. Kind of struggling a little bit there, because as enthusiastic and uninhibited as Stephen was with Jon, he went a bit shy afterwards and wouldn't really give Jon any indication on what to do.

They swing on the swings for a little while, this much is for sure. And then they probably chill on the slide for a little while. I think they pretty much knew what they were doing in the park that night, though, but it just felt right to honor the place where they met, first.

There is an entire new fic where the stoned menaces discover them and Very Bad Things Occur, but I'm not sure I want to write it.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to meet Stephen's parents. I mean I sort of have but um. I can assure you that it was an experience almost entirely sans merit. The worst part is that it has to be convincing, so there are some nights where Stephen can't even believe some of the ugly things that are coming out of his mouth.

His parents also probably think that the Bailey's is for Stephen's youth leader. There is another fic where they ask him how Stephen's been participating and the dude is all "he doesn't come lol*" and some more Very Bad Things happen.

I'm pretty sure it all ends with them driving up to Massachusetts to elope right after senior year however you slice it, though.

*lol did you see that dramatic irony there that is some sophisticated writing

That would definitely lead to some post-coital awkwardness... Jon wondering if he wasn't really enough for Stephen, maybe. Stephen wondering... something... heartbreaking, I'm sure.

<333 The boys are so sweet.

D: Oh man. That would probably happen and the Very Bad Things would be Very Very Bad. Especially explaining all the marks afterwards to other people. (I can only blame myself, I beat Stephen up first.)

I can think of people like Stephen's parents. Luckily I have not had to have much interaction with them. Stephen having to spout back the rhetoric they pound into him... those are times when the Little Voice comes back and for a few moments he's that little kid in the corner again.

His parents, at the same time, are incredibly gullible. "I just want to repay him, he likes Bailey's :DDD" "Okay son!" -- Yeah, my first thought at hearing that was "What if they called?" so eventually they do and... I bet it's even on a Sunday and they drag him off to keep the conflict private.

<3333 Then they go on to pursue fantastical careers? And Jon's mother visits and cooks for them because Stephen is too skinny? Y/y?

*...oh God no actually I didn't catch that *blushes*

Well, you know. Sixteen years of being told that Homosexuals are an Abomination. That's a lot of guilt to slag through, even if you know it's all rubbish. So the idea sort of creeps back into his head that He Shouldn't Be Enjoying This even though it's pretty much knocked out that Eight Grade dance kiss for the best thing that's ever happened to him.

IKR THEY ARE LIKE SWEET SWEET CANDY

Stephen says they were playing tag football at youth group and things got a little rough. This is, incidentally, what prompts his parents to make a phone call that reveal that their son isn't actually telling them the truth.

Stephen gets the worst of it, because Jon is mildly athletic due to playing soccer and can actually fight back. Jon's able to pull them off of him, but not before they've broken his nose which, hey. Could be worse.

His face is pretty cut up, though, which is not too bad but it looks bad. They end up having to take Stephen back to Jon's mom, despite his protests, because Jon can't stop the bleeding in his nose. After, of course, he finishes holding Stephen's hand while he throws up in the bushes.

...I actually don't know about that one. I've never heard Jon talk about his mother, I have no idea what she's like. :/ I am sure that if she does Jon is very >:///// I KNOW HOW TO FEED MY OWN HUSBAND MOM, never mind the fact that they're both working multiple jobs whilst attending school full-time and not out of their teens yet.

They are both sixteen at about this time? So I guess the fight incident takes place closer to graduation if they've got college acceptances together.

That would be... a good impetus. I half-want them to be irresponsible parents and not suspecting anything sinister behind the bruises. But they wouldn't be, of course. *sigh* And Stephen you are not all that athletic, when was the last time you played touch football really.

Jon is completely freaked out the whole time but the need to defend Stephen overcomes any fear he has for himself. But then Stephen blames himself because Jon was never beaten up, just Stephen -- and if Stephen hadn't been involved those boys never would've hurt Jon... :(

I know he mentioned his grandmother...I think? When Jim Cramer was there, he said something like "my grandmother made all these investments" and you could tell he was protective of her. So maybe her? But while he can feed Stephen, Stephen probably wouldn't mind getting some postive parental-style attention.

Do they maybe squeeze into an apartment with any roommates to cut down on rent?

I think the idea basically was "YOU CAN DRIVE. LET'S FUCK." And that elopement in Mass came first, they could figure out college later.

That they were doing it out of genuine concern and love for him adds a nasty little kick, I thought.

Has he ever played touch football? He maybe like came to a couple of Jon's games in fourth grade.

And Jon of course is wracked with guilt because holy shit he won't stop bleeding and even after he's done throwing up he's still couching up blood and they need to take him to go see Jon's mother now, please, never mind what your parents will think.

Jon is full of wounded pride, but Stephen is just like OMG FOOD ILU MOM IN LAW <3333333333333

I kind of liked the idea that they had an apartment all to themselves. Granted, it was like the size of a honeycomb cell and they had to camp out on the inflatable mattress whenever Jon's mom visited, but hey. You know. It's theirs

Lolol, oh right, excited teenagers XD So now I am picturing them, years later, when they both actually have money, going out to get rings for each other or going on a honeymoon or some sentimental madness like that.

A very sour-sweet kick *winces*

That is why it was such a flimsy excuse, unfortunately.

If it's a really bad break she might have to make them go to the emergency room, where they have to start lying because otherwise the police might get involved. If she can get the bleeding to stop though they can postpone the reactions for a night if Stephen can wrangle an overnight stay at Jon's house, until the swelling starts to go down.

XD She is like my son is so lucky to have found you, you boys need to send me pictures more often and Stephen feel free to call whenver you want and Jon is like MOMMMM but he doesn't say anything because Stephen looks so happy.

<333 They take pains to decorate it as much as their landlord will allow.