politicette | I'm so *~*secular, you guys

I'm so ~secular, you guys

This may be the post that makes you embarrassed to know me. :(

As it's become apparent to many of you already, I am such an unabashed theological geek. We're talking a straight-up nerd-glassed phlegmy-voiced pocket-protector-wearing motherfucker, here. * It's more commonly understood, however, that I am also a bra-burning baby-hating anti-American fetus-eating hairy-legged man-loathing commie pinko secular dyke fag.**

I'm sure you can all imagine wherein the disconnect often occurs.

Hence my mad, mad love of the free-form stylings of one Slactivist. He's fantastic, mostly because he focuses on actual Biblical teachings as opposed to ruminating endlessly on artificially-constructed, time-respected dogma. In fact, he often devotes space for the pure purpose of deconstructing that dogma, and boy. Do I love me some deconstructed dogma.

And his thinkings on eschatology? Amazing.

He's also very, very funny.

So, obviously I could say a lot about them, but this post was inspired by this beautiful, beautiful quote (in the context of his routine dissection of how much the Left Behind books suck) that I believe better explains the connection between salvation and storytelling, and why, in my mind, writing and creation of all kinds are such spiritual endeavors than anything I've ever clumsily articulated:

It's not about finding the special power that can defeat the archvillain's powers, but about a deeper, older kind of conflict. It's not about Bad Power vs. Good Power, but power vs. love. You recognize this story. This villain can't be defeated by silver bullets or wooden stakes or photon torpedos or a magic ring. We don't need a super hero, we need a lamb. The ring must be destroyed. Worthy is the lamb, worthy is the lamb that was slain.

That's the story. That's always the story, really.

He's so right and I'm going to stop myself before I go on a tangent about the nature and underlying significance of human creation, artistry, and expression. Because I, being a huge theological geek, could write pages.

It strikes me, also, that I just realized why Harry's resurrection at the end of Deathly Hallows was so unsatisfying to me LOL I AM A CRAZY PERSON.

*Also stopping myself from going off about the ways in which theological study and science are essentially the same endeavor because golly gee would that never end.

**A truth mileage may vary.

EDIT: LOL YOU GUYS SO THERE IS FIC! HAPPENING IN THE COMMENTS! IT'S FANTASTIC! IF YOU ARE HERE FOR THE SANDBOX CHALLENGE HAPPENING AT FN_FF, I SAY HELLO! BUT FIRST HAVE THIS DISCLAIMER:

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DISCLAIMER: The fic is a lie and I am a liar for saying it, even though I'm not claiming it as truth so technically it's more like fiction, but still equally un-factual and untrue.

Also, it may be triggery due to some of the featured gay-bashing and parental abuse.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Lolol Oh, Stephen.

Oh man being in the parking lot of the playground -- that would be so epic and sweet (and one of them being one of the big boys? my heart, it aches). Maybe they play out there for a bit before getting cold and wandering back to the car, idk.

Jon, Jon, I worry about the people you hang around with sometimes.

...Wow. While that would be a good excuse, wow.

He was just grateful for the assistance, really. He was, uh. Kind of struggling a little bit there, because as enthusiastic and uninhibited as Stephen was with Jon, he went a bit shy afterwards and wouldn't really give Jon any indication on what to do.

They swing on the swings for a little while, this much is for sure. And then they probably chill on the slide for a little while. I think they pretty much knew what they were doing in the park that night, though, but it just felt right to honor the place where they met, first.

There is an entire new fic where the stoned menaces discover them and Very Bad Things Occur, but I'm not sure I want to write it.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to meet Stephen's parents. I mean I sort of have but um. I can assure you that it was an experience almost entirely sans merit. The worst part is that it has to be convincing, so there are some nights where Stephen can't even believe some of the ugly things that are coming out of his mouth.

His parents also probably think that the Bailey's is for Stephen's youth leader. There is another fic where they ask him how Stephen's been participating and the dude is all "he doesn't come lol*" and some more Very Bad Things happen.

I'm pretty sure it all ends with them driving up to Massachusetts to elope right after senior year however you slice it, though.

*lol did you see that dramatic irony there that is some sophisticated writing

That would definitely lead to some post-coital awkwardness... Jon wondering if he wasn't really enough for Stephen, maybe. Stephen wondering... something... heartbreaking, I'm sure.

<333 The boys are so sweet.

D: Oh man. That would probably happen and the Very Bad Things would be Very Very Bad. Especially explaining all the marks afterwards to other people. (I can only blame myself, I beat Stephen up first.)

I can think of people like Stephen's parents. Luckily I have not had to have much interaction with them. Stephen having to spout back the rhetoric they pound into him... those are times when the Little Voice comes back and for a few moments he's that little kid in the corner again.

His parents, at the same time, are incredibly gullible. "I just want to repay him, he likes Bailey's :DDD" "Okay son!" -- Yeah, my first thought at hearing that was "What if they called?" so eventually they do and... I bet it's even on a Sunday and they drag him off to keep the conflict private.

<3333 Then they go on to pursue fantastical careers? And Jon's mother visits and cooks for them because Stephen is too skinny? Y/y?

*...oh God no actually I didn't catch that *blushes*

Well, you know. Sixteen years of being told that Homosexuals are an Abomination. That's a lot of guilt to slag through, even if you know it's all rubbish. So the idea sort of creeps back into his head that He Shouldn't Be Enjoying This even though it's pretty much knocked out that Eight Grade dance kiss for the best thing that's ever happened to him.

IKR THEY ARE LIKE SWEET SWEET CANDY

Stephen says they were playing tag football at youth group and things got a little rough. This is, incidentally, what prompts his parents to make a phone call that reveal that their son isn't actually telling them the truth.

Stephen gets the worst of it, because Jon is mildly athletic due to playing soccer and can actually fight back. Jon's able to pull them off of him, but not before they've broken his nose which, hey. Could be worse.

His face is pretty cut up, though, which is not too bad but it looks bad. They end up having to take Stephen back to Jon's mom, despite his protests, because Jon can't stop the bleeding in his nose. After, of course, he finishes holding Stephen's hand while he throws up in the bushes.

...I actually don't know about that one. I've never heard Jon talk about his mother, I have no idea what she's like. :/ I am sure that if she does Jon is very >:///// I KNOW HOW TO FEED MY OWN HUSBAND MOM, never mind the fact that they're both working multiple jobs whilst attending school full-time and not out of their teens yet.

They are both sixteen at about this time? So I guess the fight incident takes place closer to graduation if they've got college acceptances together.

That would be... a good impetus. I half-want them to be irresponsible parents and not suspecting anything sinister behind the bruises. But they wouldn't be, of course. *sigh* And Stephen you are not all that athletic, when was the last time you played touch football really.

Jon is completely freaked out the whole time but the need to defend Stephen overcomes any fear he has for himself. But then Stephen blames himself because Jon was never beaten up, just Stephen -- and if Stephen hadn't been involved those boys never would've hurt Jon... :(

I know he mentioned his grandmother...I think? When Jim Cramer was there, he said something like "my grandmother made all these investments" and you could tell he was protective of her. So maybe her? But while he can feed Stephen, Stephen probably wouldn't mind getting some postive parental-style attention.

Do they maybe squeeze into an apartment with any roommates to cut down on rent?

I think the idea basically was "YOU CAN DRIVE. LET'S FUCK." And that elopement in Mass came first, they could figure out college later.

That they were doing it out of genuine concern and love for him adds a nasty little kick, I thought.

Has he ever played touch football? He maybe like came to a couple of Jon's games in fourth grade.

And Jon of course is wracked with guilt because holy shit he won't stop bleeding and even after he's done throwing up he's still couching up blood and they need to take him to go see Jon's mother now, please, never mind what your parents will think.

Jon is full of wounded pride, but Stephen is just like OMG FOOD ILU MOM IN LAW <3333333333333

I kind of liked the idea that they had an apartment all to themselves. Granted, it was like the size of a honeycomb cell and they had to camp out on the inflatable mattress whenever Jon's mom visited, but hey. You know. It's theirs

Lolol, oh right, excited teenagers XD So now I am picturing them, years later, when they both actually have money, going out to get rings for each other or going on a honeymoon or some sentimental madness like that.

A very sour-sweet kick *winces*

That is why it was such a flimsy excuse, unfortunately.

If it's a really bad break she might have to make them go to the emergency room, where they have to start lying because otherwise the police might get involved. If she can get the bleeding to stop though they can postpone the reactions for a night if Stephen can wrangle an overnight stay at Jon's house, until the swelling starts to go down.

XD She is like my son is so lucky to have found you, you boys need to send me pictures more often and Stephen feel free to call whenver you want and Jon is like MOMMMM but he doesn't say anything because Stephen looks so happy.

<333 They take pains to decorate it as much as their landlord will allow.

you just filled my heart with SO MUCH JOY OMG

But turns out he's got a broken rib, and so they have to pile into the van, and the whole time Jon's mother yells at them both that SERIOUSLY. JUST COME HOME AND BE SAFE NEXT TIME IF YOU MUST BE DOING THIS. I REALLY WON'T CARE. REALLY.

Fortunately, they have school the next morning, but the bruise over his left eye swells up and turns a nasty color of greenish-purple. It's good, in a way, that it looks so bad, because it distracts them from the fact that his little finger is bent like crazy from where he broke it by landing on it funny when they shoved him down.

Stephen pretty much loves Jon's mother, what can he say. It's almost enough to make him want to go down for the holidays with Jon, but the idea of being in the same town as his parents is a little too DDDDDDDDDDD: for him still.

Stephen is particularly proud of the eagle stencil in the bathroom and the patriotic bedspread. It was a budget job, but it's still pretty fab.

I had to try to make up for all the pain and sadness we were inflicting. Also it is dangerously creeping past my bedtime (lolol oh man 2AM, where did you come from) so I picture Jon getting Stephen a ring even though Jon didn't want one as much and Stephen surprising him with a vacation (and lolol he booked the honeymoon suite like they're newlyweds).

Oh fuck, broken rib. That could've punctured his lung, what the hell were they thinking. She'll totally cover them at the hospital. STEPHEN DON'T YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU LIKE MY OWN CHILD, I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU SUFFER LIKE THIS, AND NO HONEY I WON'T MAKE YOU CALL YOUR PARENTS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO, JUST GET IN THE VAN.

He would probably manage to turn it into something grand and romantic until the truth comes out, make it sound like he did something dramatic to anyone who asked.

She comes up for some of the holidays and when she can't she calls, of course, and they put her on speakerphone and damn the phone bill because it is good to have another voice in the apartment.

Lolol Whenever Stephen is hanging out in the lounges at school he changes the TVs to the Home and Garden channel. They have shows that show you how to do stuff for free or nearly free.

IKR I MIGHT PASS OUT SOON JUST A WARNING

THANK YOU FOR THIS JOY IT'S SO JOYOUS. They went somewhere warm and tropical, because Stephen loves his new life, he really does, but he missed the heat.

I do wonder what his parents do to him when the truth comes out, though. I have a feeling it's not pretty but meh, too tired to angst.

OH, STEPHEN. <33333333333 I HAVE A FEELING HE FAILS MISERABLY BUT HE'S SO PROUD.

I'M PRETTY SURE I'M ABOUT TWO MINUTES FROM CRASHING SO I SHOULD GO AND FIND A PILLOW NOW

Well of cousre they did, because then Stephen can dress up in a coconut bra and a grass skirt and make Jon laugh. (Man in my last American Lit class we read the some story about Southerners and cold weather and lolol found it.)

:( I was half-wondering if they kick him out of the house. But I would prefer not to angst too much right now, I'd rather my dreams be de Lancie oriented.

JON MAKES SURE TO TELL ALL THEIR GUESTS TO TAKE NOTE AND COMPLIMENT THE NICE LITTLE PERSONAL TOUCHES STEPHEN HAS GIVEN THEIR PLACE.

Oh, the babies. <3

I was half-wondering if his father doesn't kick the shit out of him ngl.

JON IS SO ENTHRALLED BY STEPHEN'S ENDLESS PROJECTS OMG HE'S LIKE AND THIS IS THE KETTLE FOOT THING IDR WHAT IT'S CALLED THAT HE MADE OUT OF HORSESHOES

Wow. Look at what I started. When you two get going you really get going. (And it's awesome)

It also breaks your layout all to fuck, though. Squished comments are squished.

Still ♥s to both of you. I am totally going to make the mixtape now.

IKR LOOK AT THOSE SQUISHED MOTHERFUCKERS. DDDDDDDD:

Lolol they look like emo angsty poetry. One word per line.

lol

You can tell I got distracted before coming back here because for a second I was like "wait when did they adopt?"

:((( If you write this fic you are going to have to put a warning like "this will break your heart, rip it out, and stomp on it, ngl."

YEAH I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WOULD BE BUT I'M SURE IT WOULD BE ADORABLE AND STEPHEN WOULD SHOW IT OFF TO ALL THEIR GUESTS.

LOL AMAZING

BUT IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING I JUST PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE FIRST

ULTIMATELY IT IS A TALE OF JOY

I have a feeling their college friends are all weird and artsy and you know, they do the whole wild college kids being promiscuous thing, and Jon and Stephen wonder if they're missing out on something sometimes.

Plus also, despite their newlywed status, their sex life kind of sucks, what with the whole working-three-jobs-each-to-pay-for-rent-and-tuition thing. They pretty much just come home and cry with relief to see each other before falling into bed and passing out. ;_;

THEY WILL BE HAPPY THEY JUST HAVE TO PASS THROUGH A FEW HOOPS TO GET THERE

Stephen's friends are all artsy (lolol they analyze his crafts) and Jon's are all from the psych department and messed up because the grad students keep experimenting on them. And they psychoanalyze the boys' relationship whenever Jon acts down or anything. Then Stephen gets all jealous of his soccer buddies idk.

;_; At least they wake up in each other's arms?

LOL JON COMES HOME ONE DAY AND STEPHEN AND HIS FRIENDS ARE ALL SITTING AROUND THE TABLE AND HIS FRIENDS ARE DOING FREE-ASSOCIATION CRITIQUE OF HIS POTHOLDERS <3

It's pretty hard not to get jealous when Jon sees them more often than he sees Stephen. They have a pretty hard first year, but then the semester ends and they have a glorious summer mostly to themselves.

Well, the one who wakes up first before heading out to work gets to wake up in the other's arms. Sometimes, when the alarm wakes both of them, they even get a good-bye kiss.

LOL JON'S PSYCH FRIENDS ARE LIKE "WELL CLEARLY HIS PURSUANCE OF AN OLDER MAN IS INDICATIVE OF HIS SEARCH FOR A SURROGATE FATHER TO REPLACE HIS OWN INADEQUATE PARENT" AND JON IS LIKE "I AM ONE YEAR OLDER THAN HIM, WHAT THE HELL"

None of their friends can get over the fact that they're actually married. But they're just like "It's not that different lol"

SOMEHOW THEY CONVINCED THEIR PROFESSOR TO GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR IT AS A HOMEWORK EXERCISE <3

There are a lot of fights that first year. But Stephen goes to all the home games if he's not working and Jon sees as many of Stephen's plays as he's able to.

Do they leave each other cutesy little notes. Does Jon take a Polaroid photo of himself (using one of Stephen's friend's cameras) 'asleep' and leave tape it to his pillow so Stephen can 'wake up with him' even though Jon goes to work first most days.

"JON YOUR CREEPY FRIENDS ARE ASKING ME ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD AGAIN" "Just distract them with your latest project Stephen" "BUT THEY ACT LIKE MY PAINTINGS ARE ROSARCH TESTS" "I'll tell them to stop it, let me finish changing--" 'THEY'RE TELLING EACH OTHER I'M PROBABLY A SUB, JON, DDD:" "...Guys, seriously, WE ARE NOT YOUR PATIENTS"

It's not as if they wouldn't be living together anyway. And their friends probably tease them for referring to each other as "my husband" all the time (or at least Stephen). <3

more smush fic

sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com - 2009-05-31 18:58 (UTC) - Expand

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you should know not to start me hurting people

You think I'd have learned by now

I'm not complaining, mind.

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I may have watched that interview more than once.

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