politicette: (Default)
Ashley ([personal profile] politicette) wrote2009-09-21 12:36 am

PORN* FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

SO AS WE ALL KNOW, STEPHEN COLBERT WAS HORRIBLY ROBBED OF THREE (FOUR, REALLY) AWARDS THAT WERE RIGHTFULLY HIS, AND SO SEVERAL OTHERS AND I HAVE DECIDED THAT IT IS OUR SOLEMN DUTY TO GET THE POOR DEAR FICTITIOUSLY LAID A WHOLE BUNCH, YAY.

BASICALLY, THIS FUNCTIONS LIKE A KINK MEME.

THE ONLY REQUIREMENT IS THAT YOUR FIC MUST FEATURE STEPHEN COLBERT OR "STEPHEN COLBERT" HAVING AN ORGASM, PREFERABLY AN AMAZING ONE. PROMPT EACH OTHER, OR JUST COMMIT RANDOM ACTS OF PORN OF YOUR OWN VOLITION.

AND REMEMBER, WHEN YOU DROP OUT OF COMMENT FIC PORNFESTS, NOT ONLY ARE YOU LETTING YOURSELF DOWN, YOU'RE LETTING YOUR COUNTRY DOWN. >:|

OKAY GO.

*EDT: ON SECOND THOUGHT, I HAVE DECIDED TO AMEND THE RULES TO INCLUDE FICS WITH CUDDLING/NON SEXUAL COMFORT TECHNIQUES BECUASE HE DESERVES TO FEEL BETTER IN AS MANY WAYS AS POSSIBLE REALLY 

[identity profile] anais-rhys.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
I REQUIRE PROMPTS! DO ME!
ext_27687: (Default)

LOL SO PREDICATBLE

[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
AMY/STEPHEN/PAUL WITH STEPHEN IN THE MIDDLE

OTHER THAN THAT I DON'T REALLY CARE

Re: LOL SO PREDICATBLE

[identity profile] anais-rhys.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
holy fuck you got me to write porn...this is going to take awhile

OH MY GOD. I wrote Amy/Paul/Jon/Stephen porn (because I don't know how to write without Jon? IDK) D: it's not finished yet but I have to go to sleep (and it is so dirty I'm embarrassed)
Edited 2009-09-21 08:17 (UTC)

Re: LOL SO PREDICATBLE

[identity profile] anais-rhys.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
THERE

i'm so going to hell ^_^
erinptah: (Default)

[personal profile] erinptah 2009-09-21 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"Jon, I don't think I'm going to come back to the room right away."

It was said all in one breath, and at first Jon was relieved: it was the first thing Stephen had said since climbing into the car. Then he did a double-take. "Wait, why?"

Stephen rested his clenched fists on his knees. Or maybe his hands were in some kind of lotus position. It was hard to tell. "Well, I...I have a little bit of anger and frustration to work through right now. So it would probably be best if I just let myself into the executive lounge and meditated for a while. Or did some yoga. Something to help me find my center again."

His articulation was hardly surprising, even after making the rounds on the party circuit: Stephen had the alcohol tolerance of a mule. Jon, who had a nice buzz going, settled back against the leather and remarked, "Or you could throw me down on the bed and fuck me into the mattress."

Stephen looked up at him with a start. "That wouldn't be a good idea," he breathed, streetlights glittering hungrily off his eyes. "The way I feel right now...you'd probably end up...bruised."

"Well, somebody oughta be, after the way tonight went down," said Jon philosophically. "Why not me?"

"You don't deserve that," insisted Stephen. "You shouldn't be punished just because somebody else voted to give you an award."

Jon considered this, then unbuckled his seatbelt.

After years of watching his words around Stephen, of always having to keep an eye on the limits because Stephen would never set any of his own, this private arrangement was taking some getting used to. But the more Stephen got comfortable with taking control, the more Jon liked it. It was deliciously freeing to be able to relax, to slide out of the boss role, even to let himself be a bit of a brat once in a while.

"Steeeephen," he wheedled, flopping down across the other man's startled lap. "Punish me. C'mon. You know you wa--"

He was cut off by a slightly panicky hand clamped over his mouth.

"Mmph," he finished, and concentrated on breathing through his nose as he looked placidly up at Stephen. Is that all you got?

Stephen swallowed, eyes still glittering, though Jon couldn't have said if it was from the streetlights or their own internal fire. "Will you -- beg for forgiveness?"

Arranging his face into his best 'helpless comedian' expression, Jon lifted one hand and reached plaintively towards Stephen's heart.

"Ohgod," gasped Stephen, a growl creeping into his voice as his hand tensed around Jon's jaw. "Oh, Jon, you're not going to be able to stand when I'm through with you."






(Anyone want a prompt? FINISH THIS.)

(Reposted for HTML fail.)
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FDJSKALH YOU CAN'T JUST *STOP*!

[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-09-22 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
;_______________;

ERIN


WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA
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[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-09-22 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
BUT REALLY IGNORING THE FACT THAT OBVIOUSLY YOU HATE EVERYONE AND WANT US TO SUFFER, THIS IS SO ♥

I REALLY LOVE THE DETAIL ABOUT THE STREETLIGHTS GLITTERING HUNGRILY, THAT'S JUST O MUCH *_*

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[identity profile] celli-puzzle.livejournal.com 2009-09-22 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"That's what I want," Jon whispered against Stephen's hand, let his lips slide over the skin. He felt a muscle jitter underneath his head, Stephen's leg tensing. He moved his own hand to touch Stephen's knee, to slide down his shin, caress his ankle, and back up. The hand over Jon's mouth clamped down further. They locked eyes for a long moment, streetlights flickering around Stephen's face, but the dark pooling in Stephen's eyes never changing.

"Is that really what you want?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

Jon nodded as emphatically and as best he could. Another pause, just the rush of the wind around the car. After a quick glance up front - (red light, garish yellow, green, go) - suddenly Stephen let go of Jon's face only to shove his legs off the seat. "Off. Down."

He didn't need to be told twice. After an awkward tangle of limbs, Stephen watching Jon cautiously, Jon was kneeling between Stephen's knees, looking up. Stephen bent down, tried to take Jon's hands in his own, but Jon shook his head slightly.

"Punish me," he said softly, throat dry. Stephen hesitated - Jon could just see himself getting back up, Stephen going to go meditate, an unsatisfactory encounter in the room later - and grew slightly desperate. "Please, punish me, take me, use me - " He could see the words getting to Stephen, only a flicker of movement when he swallowed.

"Get - get my pants - down." It was stuttering, but it was a start.

Jon's hands jumped at the buckle of Stephen's dress pants, snapped it open, slid his hands down with the material. He impatiently tugged down as he forced Stephen to contort to get his pants down to his knees. The tails of Stephen's shirt were still draped over his thighs, he was only half hard. Jon looked up at Stephen, waiting for instructions.

"Suck on it."

Jon dove. Held Stephen's gaze.

Stephen's eyes narrowed behind his white-light shimmering glasses. "Swallow," he said.

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(Anonymous) - 2009-09-23 21:02 (UTC) - Expand

X_X

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Re: X_X

(Anonymous) - 2009-09-23 23:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: X_X

(Anonymous) - 2009-09-25 00:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: X_X

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Re: X_X

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Re: X_X

[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com - 2009-09-25 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

Please, please

[identity profile] nelleellen.livejournal.com 2009-09-22 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
go on to post these on the main page!! We don't want to lose great stuff in the comment thread... :)

[identity profile] jmie.livejournal.com 2009-09-22 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
FUCK, I owe Lunchbox Jon and "Stephen" porn. Aaaaaand forgot about it.

Thank you for reminding me and this fic thingy is an adorable idea!

[identity profile] iamashamed.livejournal.com 2009-09-22 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
THIS IS AN AWESOME IDEA! MUAHAHAHA:D

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sarcasticsra: A picture of a rat snuggling a teeny teddy bear. (Default)

[personal profile] sarcasticsra 2009-09-22 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Let's see if this kills my writer's block. Prompts, anyone?

[identity profile] southerngaelic.livejournal.com 2009-09-22 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Stephen/Jon/John Oliver, with Ollie in the middle, if that's not too much to ask ^_^

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[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
JON/STEPHEN/BRIWI IN THAT CRAZY D/s VERSE OF YOURS

STEPHEN'S BEEN LOOKING DESPONDENT LATELY, SO JON AND BRIAN DECIDE TO TAKE HIS MIND OF THINGS

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[identity profile] hobbit-feet.livejournal.com - 2009-09-23 15:03 (UTC) - Expand

IF THIS IS LIKE A KINK MEME

(Anonymous) 2009-09-22 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
THEN HAVE AN ANONYMOUS PROMPT:

Jon brings all the attendant correspondents (and anyone else he can con into coming along) for taking-Stephen's-mind-off-of-it rollicking group sex. Or, heck, make it "Stephen" and turn it into a gangbang. You know he'd want it.

Bonus points if Allison gets some action as well. SHE CLEARLY DESERVES IT.

GET ON THAT, NATION.

Re: IF THIS IS LIKE A KINK MEME

[identity profile] iamashamed.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
I want to know who you are anon. I do have a suspicsion...
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Doing my duty, ma'am! *salutes* (Jon/Stephen Prons) 1/2

[identity profile] taurenova.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
Evie answers the door and gives Jon a ‘I know why you’re here’ look that Jon returns with half a smile. She steps to one side and lets Jon into the room, trailing behind him.

Stephen is sitting at a table by the window. His jacket is over the back of the chair and his tie is undone, hanging lopsidedly around his neck, his shirt collar open and his hair ruffled out of place.

“Hey,” Jon says quietly, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“Hey, Jon,” Stephen says, meeting Jon’s eyes briefly. Jon lets out a little breath.

“D’you think maybe I could borrow him for an hour?” Jon asks, tilting his head toward Evie. Evie holds Jon’s eyes for a long moment before nodding slowly.

Permission given.

“I’ll keep Tracey company,” Evie says and Jon nods. Evie crosses the room and bends over Stephen, pressing a long kiss to his forehead.

“Be good,” she says quietly, against his hair. Stephen nods and Evie makes a quiet exit.

“You didn’t have to come,” Stephen says, picking at an open shirt cuff.

“Yeah, I did,” Jon says, moving across the room to sit next to Stephen. “Steve was worried about you.”

“Only Steve?” Stephen raises an eyebrow at the table.

“Ed, too,” Jon shrugs. “My correspondents. Your writers. Chuck and Jimmy. My writers –”

“Very funny,” Stephen says, shaking his head. Jon covers one of Stephen’s hands with his.

“Me,” Jon says and Stephen finally looks up at him properly. He looks wrecked and tired and Jon hates to think that he’s responsible. If he could buy all the Emmys in the world for Stephen, he would.

Stephen leans in and kisses him, lips warm against Jon’s, and Jon tastes whiskey and beer. Jon tightens his hand on Stephen’s and raises his other to Stephen’s hair, threading through too short strands. Stephen lays a hand on Jon’s neck and strokes his jaw line with a thumb and Jon opens his mouth to Stephen. Stephen makes a soft sound against Jon’s lips, tongue sweeping out and in and Jon shifts forward on his seat.

“I sort of want to hate you right now,” Stephen says when he pulls back, half a smile on his lips.

“I don’t blame you,” Jon says, rubbing circles into Stephen’s scalp with his hand. “Give me a chance to make it up to you?”

“I know you’re a clever man, Jon,” Stephen says, looking Jon up and down once. “But I’m pretty sure you haven’t figured out a way to hide an Emmy in that tux.”

Jon giggles, turning his head to press a kiss to the palm of Stephen’s hand. He meets Stephen’s eyes again and catches the heat there.

“Are you waiting for permission?” Stephen arches his eyebrow. Jon grins.
ext_63688: (Default)

Doing my duty, ma'am! *salutes* (Jon/Stephen Prons) 2/2

[identity profile] taurenova.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
He releases Stephen’s hand and lowers himself to his knees between Stephen’s legs. Stephen’s eyes widen only slightly as Jon runs his hands up Stephen’s thighs, resting them at his hips.

“I – I like the way you think,” Stephen says, reaching a hand out to brush through Jon’s hair.

“Yeah,” Jon says, smiling. “Thought you might.”

He makes short work of Stephen’s zip and with a little help from Stephen eases his pants and boxers down, freeing his cock. Jon runs a hand meditatively up Stephen’s cock, tracing a circle around the head with his thumb, and Stephen turns to liquid in the chair.

Jon smiles and presses a kiss against the inside of Stephen’s thigh before stretching up to take Stephen’s cock into his mouth. Stephen hisses and flexes his hand in Jon’s hair. Jon eases down as far as he can, flattening his tongue and making up the shortfall with his hand.

Jon’s good at this – has gotten good at this for Stephen – and it doesn’t take him long to get Stephen arching in the chair, thrusting up into Jon’s mouth. Jon holds Stephen’s eyes, knows that’s important to Stephen, and feels Stephen’s thighs tensing on either side of him.

Jon slides up, tonguing the head, and works a hand between Stephen’s legs to cup his balls.

“Fuck, Jon,” Stephen breathes, fingers flexing in Jon’s hair again. “I’m not gonna –”

Jon knows that Stephen’s not going to last long, intends him not to last long, speeds his movements, adding in a particular flair that makes Stephen shudder from head to toe. Jon feels Stephen tense all over and eases up, focusing on the head of Stephen’s cock, and with an exhaled Jon Stephen’s coming, holding Jon in place while Jon swallows.

“Holy fucking shit,” Stephen mumbles. “God. Fuck. I’m losing more often.”

Jon laughs as he pulls off, stroking a few more times to carry Stephen through. Stephen reaches a hand out and wipes the corner of Jon’s mouth, a curiously intimate movement that makes Jon shiver, and Jon slowly stands.

“Always glad to be of service,” he says, patting Stephen’s shoulder and exchanging a grin.

Jon’s stretching the fresh kink out of his back when Stephen tackles him onto the bed, leaning in to kiss him firmly and Jon’s certain Stephen can taste himself in Jon’s mouth.

“Hey,” Jon says as Stephen rubs a hand over his cock through his pants. “This isn’t supposed to be about me.”

“You want to make me happy?” Stephen asks, pressing a kiss under Jon’s jaw. Jon shivers.

“Always,” he says, turning his head to kiss Stephen’s temple.

“Then let me return the favour,” Stephen says, pulling Jon’s collar open and trailing a finger over his collarbone.

“Anything you want,” Jon says, arching his hips up into the delicious friction Stephen’s providing.

“Good,” Stephen kisses Jon again, smiling. “Thanks for wearing a tux, by the way.”

“It’s turned out to be totally worth it,” Jon admits. Stephen laughs again, burying his forehead against Jon’s shoulder.

Stephen doesn’t look so wrecked any more, hovering over Jon’s hips and smiling, and Jon unfurls a tiny Mission Accomplished banner in his mind.

[identity profile] shoebox-addict.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
I, um, posted a fic called "Consolation" over at both [livejournal.com profile] tds_rps and [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic if you guys wanna, you know, check it out, maybe? ;)
ext_27687: (Default)

[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
JON/STEPHEN: "Next time I'll probably just threaten to sic my boyfriend on them. He's a very important man, you know."

[identity profile] ntjnke.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
PROMPT: As a silly lover's revenge for besting him, Stephen tells Jon that he has to strip. Slowly. Dancing is not optional.
erinptah: (Default)

The happyverse version!

[personal profile] erinptah 2009-09-23 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
Stephen fairly skipped up to the car, where Jon had been waiting with a fair sheen of trepidation. "I'm so happy for you!" he gushed, flinging his arms enthusiastically around Jon's shoulders. "Two new Emmys! You must be so proud! And letting one of the writers do the speech instead of you — oh, Jon, you are so classy."

"Couldn't do it without 'em," said Jon, rubbing his neck sheepishly as Stephen released him and smiled. "Hey, Stephen...are you okay?"

Stephen cocked his head in confusion as Jon opened the door and waved him in. "Why wouldn't I be?"

It was a fair question. In all the years Jon had known him, Stephen had never shown more than a glimmer of distress, always shallow and evaporating as quickly as a puddle after a rainstorm. Maybe it was just Jon's unquenchable pessimism, but he couldn't shake the feeling that, one of these days, Stephen was due to snap.

"Well, uh, your people have done great work this year too," he said carefully. "And, frankly, you deserve a lot more recognition than you're getting."

Was Stephen actually humming? "Oh, Jon, we don't do it for the recognition! It would be nice, of course, but the joy of the work is its own reward!"

Jon sighed, slumping against the leather and putting a hand over his eyes. Stephen was all sunshine and flowers, and experience told him there was no point in wading through it in search of something deeper. "Still, it would be all right if it started to get you down after a while."

He was expecting the other man to move cheerfully on, so Jon nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a touch on his thigh. Somehow Stephen had appeared right beside him, sudden and silent, looking fretfully up at him with those big round Disney-princess eyes.

"H-hey there," stammered Jon, his gaze tracing the curve of Stephen's pout.

"Jon," said Stephen, managing to look remarkably solemn for a man wearing a white tuxedo and a sparkly pink tie, "why is it so hard for you to be happy?"

"Uh." Jon broke into his trademark self-effacing laugh. "Well, I am Jewish, you know."

Stephen pursed his lips as he took this in. "But still," he declared at last. "My team created a lot of great shows, and we had fun doing it, and sure, it would have been nice to get a shiny trophy, but there's always next year! And you — your people did get trophies, and after all the hard work you've done, all the joy you've brought into people's lives...." He squeezed Jon's leg for emphasis. "You deserved it. All of you. And you should be so proud of yourselves."

To his surprise, Jon realized the corners of his mouth were twitching. Not only that, the instant he decided to stop holding back, his face split all at once past the self-consciously closed-lipped smile he offered the cameras and into a broad, lopsided, ridiculously giddy grin.

"We did good," he admitted, face reddening at his own sudden intensity.

Stephen fairly bounced in his seat. "Yay!" he trilled, clapping his hands and pressing a chaste kiss to Jon's cheek. "It always makes me happy when you're happy, Jon!"

Taking a slow, steadying breath, Jon let himself bask in the unfamiliar glow. Joy. The good stuff, too: not soured by guilt, or a sense of unworthiness, or that self-preserving instinct that insisted he never get his hopes up too high.

It was kind of nice.

"We did good," he repeated quietly, and Stephen hugged him and bubbled on about how he was just so proud, and Jon thought that maybe, just maybe, he could get used to this.
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Re: The happyverse version!

[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
THIS "STEPHEN" IS MY FAVORITE. HIS DISNEY-PRINCESS EYES, HEE! ♥_♥

MY ONLY REGRET IS THAT, BEING IN A BIG CITY, HE CAN NEVER CONCOCT A PLOT TO PUT ON A SHOW TO SAVE THE TOWN FROM FORECLOSURE OR SOMETHING, AS IS CLEARLY HIS DESTINY

BUT MAYBE HE CAN STILL LIKE, BAKE COOKIES FOR A BAKE SALE TO BUILD THE ORPHANS A NEW PLAYGROUND, IDK

Re: The happyverse version!

[personal profile] erinptah - 2009-09-24 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: The happyverse version!

[personal profile] erinptah - 2009-09-24 04:47 (UTC) - Expand
erinptah: (Default)

Help!

[personal profile] erinptah 2009-09-23 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
I have three versions of the limo ride down now - Liberalverse, happy!verse, and [livejournal.com profile] sailorjon 'verse - but of course, for a proper Five Times, you need five. (That's just logic, Jon.)

Anyone want to nominate candidates for the last two? They can be canon AUs, or fic 'verses I've written, or 'verses that other people have written but given the rest of the world permission to write in, or...I don't know, whatever else you can think of. I trust in the creativity of the masses!
sarcasticsra: A picture of a rat snuggling a teeny teddy bear. (Default)

Re: Help!

[personal profile] sarcasticsra 2009-09-23 07:16 am (UTC)(link)
What about the regular "Stephen" 'verse? You can borrow Needverse if you want. Or r!Stephen? Or...um, lol, translate it to Senateverse somehow? ("The Emmys completely snubbed poor Mike Huckabee. That's what he gets for upholding traditional, conservative values. I told you they were godless, Jon." -- "You know his show is satirical, right?") Haha, IDK.

Re: Help!

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Re: Help!

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Re: Help!

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Re: Help!

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Re: Help!

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[identity profile] ceilidh-ann.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Great idea, somebody please prompt me!
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[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-09-23 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
THERE ARE A COUPLE FREE PROMPTS UP ALREADY, I THINK, IF YOU'D LIKE ONE

[identity profile] count-nickula.livejournal.com 2009-10-01 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I AM OUTRAGED THAT I DID NOT KNOW THIS MEME EXISTED! OUTRAGED, I SAY!


...FUCK, THIS MAKES ME HORNY. MIGHT HAVE TO SCRABBLE AROUND FOR LOOSE PROMPTS. xD
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[identity profile] sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com 2009-10-01 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I APPROVE YO.

IYhipmsQZYxztVWM

(Anonymous) 2013-07-26 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Hi, I've surely got to say, I love your site. The colors, the structure, the entire topic, each of them get properly together. Anyway, that is all I really needed to say.